Kathy and Calvin's Home Page

Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2000 19:32:54 EST Subject: Great social skills programmes -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have had excellent success using the programme outlined in "Teaching Children with Autism to Mind Read" by Patricia Howlin, Simon Barron-Cohen and Julie Hadwin. ISBN # 0-471-97623-7. It can be order through any major book store. It starts with teaching children to identify emotions and works up to perspective taking skills (something our kids have great diffiuclty doing). It also includes a good section on developing symbolic/pretend play skills. Not great with respect to generalization activites but it's a good starting point to give kids the basic they need to understand others. Carol Grey's social stories agments this programme nicely. Hope this helps

Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 22:04:16 +0000 Subject: Social Skills_suggestions-Part 1 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RE: SOCIAL SKILLS CURRICULUM

Following my request for a social skills curriculum to the ME-LIST, I got 5 replies, all of whom were struggleing with the same issue. I did more info gathering and put the following down on paper. Depending on where you sit, it can either assist you in your program, or prompt you to contact us to help us in ours.

Comments and further communication is welome on what you are doing/struggling with. I am only now really getting down to the nitty gritty, having spent the last few months trying to get the best materials to look at.

Please note the following:

1) My initial email question was to the ME-LIST was out of sheer frustration in my search for ONE package (good luck!) that would solve all our social skill requirement needs for our 4.5 year old hyperlexic son (well on the way to recovery, but..... those nagging questions on social skills).

2) Although all of those who responded to my original ME-LIST plea had some suggestions, none had an overall comprehensive recommendation on how to pursue "social skills". Also, each appeared to be struggling with the same issues (although I don't know what ages, stages, or diagnosis each of their children was in).

3) For what it's worth, here's my 2 cents. ______________________________________________________________________

THE SEARCH FOR SOCIAL SKILLS

Early in our ABA program, with our son then at about age 3, we started a few things which have proved absolutely invaluable in the development of "social skills". We used social stories extensively, but in terms of actual "skill development" early on, we defined this in FOUR fundamental areas:

1) Sociable greetings and partings with other people (adults/children - in all social situations)

a) Greetings and Partings at the door when people leave your house, you leave their house, when you leave the store, etc. This means that he was ALWAYS forced (bad word, but true, nevertheless) to come to the door to be with us -- even if held in our arms while kicking and screaming. We would explain -- "This is what we do, we are polite to others, say hello, say goodby". Then we would "practice" the exact scene again, after the other people (or we) were gone. This was a major stress area, which required a social story on the wall for about 8 months (he wouldn't let me take that one down), which addressed the stress he felt when his friends went home.

b) Then after the squirming stopped, we would insist on the appropriate polite language. He was an echolaliac hyperlexic, so we wrote everything down and practiced, practiced, practiced. Stilted, rote and prompted talking became natural, unprompted and fun after many months.

2) Politeness -- please, thank you (for all services provided as well, for example to the cashier at the grocery store, to the dentist, doctor, etc), excuse me, you are welcome, may I be excused from the table please, thank you for preparing the meal, it was nice meeting you, please come back and play with me again another time.

* Unfortunately today, many parents of "regular" kids do not insist on this for their child, let alone for the special needs child. However, we believed that there were enough problems to overcome with play, language, etc. He didn't need people thinking he was rude as well. So, when we taught YES/NO, we taught it right from the beginning as YES PLEASE and NO THANK YOU (we did not accept Yah/Naa...), so it is now completely automatic. Any social story written included all the polite language words.

* Adults have a great deal more tolerance for "odd" behaviors if a child is polite. As we have seen excellent results because of this, it was WELL worth the effort. Everywhere, where polite language is used, adults are actually surprised (and pleased) -- supermarket, stores, gas station, visitors, etc. This is a sad statement that a polite child stands out so much from the rest of them, but it actually PROMOTES others interacting further with our child because he is initially polite. Casual comments TO strangers have then turned into a brief, but meaningful language-based interaction WITH them, just because he said please or thank you -- amazing !

* Also amazingly, we as adult have become much more polite with others, particularly service people, with whom we typically interact with many times a day. Because we had to be (and wanted to be) an "example" every time he saw us, we would make a special effort to thank service people for helping us, serving us, looking happy today etc. It really is amazing -- in making statements of appreciation to others -- how it brightens up their day, and makes US feel so good as well. When you see a little 4.5 year old doing that as well, it warms everyone's heart. He is a GOOD little person. He has learned to show respect for others, to appreciate the little things that others do for you, and to TELL others how he feels about what they do. That is so very much a fundamental foundational social skill, I just cannot emphasize it enough.

3) Greeting/Partings and Conversation (focus on children-only)

a) You can only truly greet someone only once, and then it's not really a greeting. However, our son showed absolutely NO INTEREST in new people. He would be totally disinterested and could not be engaged in interaction with others unless they were familiar to him. So, I would take our son to the swimming pool 2-3 times a week for the 1-hour public swim, and also take him to McDonald Playplaces (not the really busy ones, and not the ones where I couldn't get into the tunnels etc.). These are "natural" settings where other parents/supervising adults are not startled or wary when another adult (with child) comes up to speak to their child.

The objective at the beginning was to practice with total strangers -- getting their attention, greeting them, conversing with them, then saying goodby. Later, we would go up to a child who (I thought) was almost finished playing with a pool toy, and practiced "May I please have that toy when you are finished playing with it?". I tried to get "Yes" answers to avoid the tantrums. Still later, it didn't matter -- we had to deal with "yes" or "no". This latter part transferred into the playground and playroom very very well, and proved to be good early-learning anger management training.

How did it work? -- well, I would pick a child (didn't matter what age, but one with language already) who was "paused" for some reason, and prompt our son to go greet the child, later including the greeting plus question. Almost always, the other child was a bit hesitant, particularly at the "oddness" of speech and the stilted way he talked, but was typically willing to receive and comply with a prompted "response" from me. I would basically script the reply. "You could say...'Hello, my name is _____'."

Early on I scripted both sides, then only the other child's side, then no sides. Early questions from our son were exclusively numbers-related "How old are you," (asked 6 times in a row), or "When is your birthday" or "What's your address" (10 times in a row). Nevertheless, in only a few exchanges, including an appropriate parting, our son was able to practice and practice and practice greeting and starting conversations with strangers. He is now incredibly confident with strangers -- both adults and children. He is not shy in the least. Coupled with the polite language, he seems beyond his years in social greetings communication. I do not mean extended conversations, however, that is a completely different issue. However, at the time, we figured that this was the first and best place to start his "social skills".

4) Playdates (with other children)

My detailed notes on playdate set up, organization and implementation were sent to the ME-LIST a few months ago. They were subsequently put on Melinda Smith's excellent Play Website, with my permission. Check out my comments there, as well as more excellent information by others. Tough, tough, tough slogging with 1-to-1's has turned now into group playdates (up to 10) where everyone has great fun. Lots of work for us, but well worth the effort. Taking turns with 2 is easy, taking turns with 10 is harder to learn.

http://melindasmith.home.mindspring.com/playdateweb.htm

Date: Sun, 16 Jan 2000 19:35:29 -0500 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's the latest update to my website. I have added a section on social skills which includes the following topics:

1.The search for social skills--by Bennetta Benson (this includes a book you can download to teach gestures--it's in zip format. When unzipped, it is a document file you can print out!) 2. The Sumlin perspective on Social stories 3. The Sumin social stories--the complete sets 4. Another families social story experience (this is not posted yet, I am awaiting OK from the author) 5. Carol Gray's Social Stories--description 6. Powerful effective social stories

I'd fixed some broken links and cleaned up some things. I've also added some information about LEGOMANIA!!!...hahah...to my manipulative drills.

the url is http://melindasmith.home.mindspring.com (I gotta get some fancy type name someday...) Subject: Social Skills-recommend-Part 2 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So.......Where are we now? and What resources are available for Social Skills?

Good question, and after 4 months of searching for the one right answer, I have sadly concluded that there is no one single answer. In fact, the definition of "Social Skills" themselves is all over the ball park -- lofty goal statements, detailed practical solutions to single specific skills (anger management for example), definitions of language-based vs non-verbal based vs play-based social skills, etc.

Instead, it appears that every parent is kind of on their own to:

a) look for resources to use (books, materials, other parents)

b) define "Social Skills" for their Autistic-spectrum disordered child all on their own

c) develop a "curriculum" to develop and promote those social skills

Based on the few responses I received, and some of the suggested and discovered materials, which I investigated and purchased, I feel confident in recommending the following material. I am now in the process of both currently using this material and in developing a "sequential" curriculum for our son. Some of these are from ME-LIST submissions, so please accept credit where credit is due. I give great thanks to those who have gone before me -- who have taken their precious and highly valued time to document their successes, so that it is one LESS wheel I have to re-invent.

1) ORAL LANGUAGE ACTIVITIES FOR SPECIAL CHILDREN - Book by Darlene Manx.

Over 100 reproducible worksheet activities to develop children's facilities with language in four important areas 1) Questioning Skills 2) Problem-solving Skills 3) Conversation Skills and 4) Everyday Greetings.

Because our son could read, I photocopied the book, hole punched it and put it into a binder for HIM. I made cover on the computer on colored paper and inserted in the plastic on the front of the binder, which said "__CHILD'S NAME__'s FUN TALKING PAGES". I also made single sheets for each of the numbered sections as noted above, also in sheet protectors, for dividers. This book has been great, with many pictures, scenarios and optional alternatives. We sit and alternate picking page numbers to work on. Although geared to early school-aged, it is easily adaptable to younger children with some imagination.

2) LIFE SKILLS ACTIVITIES FOR SPECIAL CHILDREN - Book by Darlene Manx.

Includes 145 ready-to-use lessons with reproducible worksheets to help children develop the basic skills necessary to experience independence and success in everyday living.

Lots of basic stuff, and doing thing properly. Some of it more advanced, but a good resource for later as well.

3) SOCIAL SKILLS ACTIVITIES FOR SPECIAL CHILDREN - Book by Darlene Mannix.

4) GESTURES - the non-verbal language of communication - a big huge thank you to HStejskal@AOL.com, a fellow ME-LISTer who sent a list of 45 gestures a while back including "How to physically do it" and "What does it mean". I took these, added a few more, added a social story, changed all the interpretive language to polite and made a book out of it. I printed the pages with a cover "Talking without Words", put them plastic sheet protectors with a cover and clip art showing gestures. This has been fantastic to show a different means of communication. We practice doing them in front of the mirror and then do gestures games. Because he is hyperlexic, he loves to read this book in the car and practice the physical (mostly hand) motions.

5) TEACH ME LANGUAGE - Book by Sabrina Freeman & Lorelei Dake PLUS the Companion Exercise Forms Workbook Unbelievably, this book, although highly recommended and used by many on the ME-LIST, was unheard of and unavailable from ALL of the following:

a) Our provincial Autism Society Library b) The Speech & Language division of the provincially-funded Society for Children with Disabilities, who assigns personnel to work with parents c) The Speech & Language division of the provincially funded Child Development Clinic - the one who assigns S&L people to all the newly diagnosed. d) The Provincial Department of Education Library

I had to investigate and special-order it from British Columbia (to avoid paying that nasty US exchange on our poor Canadian dollar)

6) The TOUGH KID Series -- A series of books/manuals with great worksheets, available through resource departments in the schools.

Also a workbook called "A Volcano in my Tummy". These are really good resources on how to teach anger recognition and management, handling teasing, how to teach kids to interpret others' language and behavior, and how you can to reach those kids who are rejecting (and being rejected by) their social environment.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'll get back to the books, now and get to work. Anybody got anything else to add? Subject: MUSIC as Social Skills Program Part 1/2 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: I wrote this up in helping another parent, but it might be useful to some of you ME-LISTers too.

ABA SONGS PROGRAM - Ideas for Music as a social program.

First, it must be noted that in any society in the world, ancient or contemporary, language-based or non-language based, with written language or without, first world or third world or in the deep dark jungles ---- there is NO SOCIETY that has not had three fundamental elements to their social program - MUSIC, DANCE (movement) and ART. These are FUNDAMENTAL elements to illustrate knowledge and awareness of their environment, celebration of life and times, and expressions of physical and spiritual joy.

Any child, no matter how old they are starting an ABA recovery program, should NOT be denied the opportunity to fully experience the sheer joy that comes with full participation with others in song and dance - no matter what you sound like, no matter what you look like. Children's songs are timeless AND ageless. Children LOVE music and it can be done EVERYWHERE and ANYTIME - in the morning, in the car, while doing any activity during the day, soft quite songs at nighttime, etc. Also ANY AGE - what adult has not sung a round of "The Ants go Marching", who doesn't have a song in their hearts and a smile on their face? Children of ALL ages can easily be persuaded to burst into song with one of their MANY MANY old familiar songs from childhood. If we counted the number of times in our lifetime that we sang each of those Christmas songs - what number would YOU be up to?

Fundamentally -- based on whatever level of autistic-spectrum disorder (verbal or non-verbal, old or young, high or low functioning), I see the SONG PROGRAM as a very important and MAJOR element of EARLY SOCIAL INTERACTION with the other kids. Although the other kids cannot get "into" his stage of toy play and interests, which makes interaction with him "uncomfortable", ALL CHILDREN love songs and music, and these ones are all classical favorites they love to sing. This is an EXCELLENT program to get him participating - looking at what the other kids are doing, copying the movement or physical actions they do, and repeating words in a sing-song rhyming fashion. This will also get the other kids to WANT to interact with him (when this means they have fun singing old favorites, or doing song-based activities with an adult directing the play).

As a result, the objective to a good solid music program is NOT just getting him to learn the words and music to new songs, but incorporating MUSIC into his life, and using it to open up a new avenue for social interaction with other people (children and adults).

Always note, that all of these ABA programs are just that - PROGRAMS !

They need:

- a PLAN OF ACTION, including specific objectives for YOUR child,

- good solid MATERIALS, specific to YOUR child,

- and an IMPLEMENTATION PROCESS in TWO parts:

a) one, mastery by the child in a fun play format (with or without other people as appropriate), mostly without other people, b) and then generalization within the family and social groups. All of these elements take care and attention.

I have finished Song books for him as follows:

1) "__child's name__'s FIRST SONG BOOK - His very own personal BIG font book with the lyrics (size 18 - 1-song per page) to almost all of the songs listed in the Autism Partnership SONGS PROGRAM (1-page), in addition to a number of others which are really easy and can be incorporated into a daily "fun" song program -- for example, the "Good morning song", "What are you wearing", and "Love in my Family". One song in particular can be used for learning ANYTHING either alone or with 1 or more other children (GOOD SOCIAL SONG to start out with) - just put whatever different things you are learning about (fruits, veggies, shapes, other) in their hands and and sing eg "If you have an apple, apple, apple; If you have an apple, please stand up". Then "OK - everyone please sit down." Or make the activity anything you want "shout ___", "run to the door", or whatever - use your imagination as there are lots of different ways to incorporate music and movement into learning. I put in a 1-pager for SHAPES and for what you are wearing, with more progressive instructions at the bottom.

HOW TO USE IT:

a) For this book, I have made the COMPLETE MASTER -- with ALL the pages -- as well as a WORKING MASTER, which has TWO SHEET PROTECTORS for song pages only -- the SAME COVER and another page for the song you are specifically working on at the moment with him. With the sheet protectors, you can easily change the song page itself, so he has only ONE or TWO (back to back) songs at a time in his hands. Also in the car, he can have this one and you can have the MASTER if you want to sing songs en route anywhere.

b) As I mentioned before, although big font for lyrics, there's LOTS of white space on the page - so go get stickers, photographs, cut out magazine pictures etc, as appropriate for the song, and create a visual page with the text. It should be fun to look at as well as to learn. Also, (the child) should be incorporated into the stage of PLACING these elements on the page as you go through the song initially with him. Create the page with him -- make it his OWN. Even if his participation is only peripheral, do this with him ALONE (in therapy or playsitter session) and TALK about everything you are doing, why you are adding the visual elements, joke about the funny nature of the song if appropriate, talk about how much fun it is to learn songs and to sing them, sing the song out loud, etc.

c) Songs should be incorporated ALL day -- wake-up songs in the morning with all your kids, always with the playsitters, in the car, with groups of kids at ANYONE's house -- pick a song and sing it, have other kids pick a song for everyone to sing. Try to get some of the songs to be sung in parts (one kid sings part, another kid replies) -- that way it is seen to be an INTERACTIVE "conversation" of sorts.

CONTINUED FOR PART 2 Subject: MUSIC as Social Skills Program Part 2/2 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CONTINUED FROM PART 1 (prior post)

d) I ALWAYS called everything "GAMES", which ensure that it is clear that the time allocated has a beginning and an end. Make it clear that these are HIS OWN fun songs, so that he is always to be included. You can say "Hey everyone, let's play ___Child's Name's ___ SONG GAME" -- and launch into a song.

e) When it is time for him to LEARN a new song:

It could be introduced first with the other kids AND him (or with great enthusiasm alone in an ABA session). Let him see and hear the fun first, before you make requirements of him. Play the song on the tape (if available) over and over again. Or, sing it a lot together without the tape (slower), without the expectation that he sing the words, just that he participate with attention and the physical movements that you are adding for the other kids. If possible, introduce new songs with movement and dance, clapping, waving, physical motions and happy faces.

SONGS ARE A SOCIAL THING. People interact when they sing -- they feel happy and joyful, they look at each other's faces. Also, when children sing, they usually dance and move around as well.

Second, it CAN be done with him in his ABA session to learn the words to sing. Here I would say "CHILD -- it's time for MUSIC TIME, let's play the SONG GAME". The reason to say MUSIC TIME, is that I also believe that you should get a box filled with basic children's musical instruments, so that they can be incorporated into the "BEAT" of the song either now or later (as appropriate for him). For about $50.00 - $70.00 you can get about 10 different instruments and have them included in the music program. The best places to go are the Dollar Stores (check around, all of them sell different stuff), the "dollar rack" at Toys-R-Us and education-supplies stores (although much more expensive) are the best bets for instruments. Even get a few of those "cheap-looking baby instruments" - if they are unusually shaped they are still fun to look at and play.

f) Take each single Song page, either once mastered, or if it is clear it is a favorite, and put it up on the wall on the big laminated colored poster paper, so that he and others can SEE it. Make a project to get LOTS of pictures about the song, or pictures of the kids singing songs (fun visual queues) and tape them all around the song sheet. I would definitely put this one in the playroom. There must be elements in there to entice him in to play. Say "Hey, I have an idea ! Let's go sing a song…" to everyone, and with great fanfare run into the playroom and burst into song.

2) TWO OTHER CHILDREN'S SONG BOOKS -- I photocopied the complete WEE SING book, and another little song book called SING-ALONG FAVORITES. I put covers on them with his name, so that it is clear to everyone as to whom they belong. Some of the songs are in the book I made above, some have different lyrics, and many others are just more fun favorites.

3) WEE SING CASSETTE -- I taped the one that we have. All the WEE SING songs that are in the book are on the tape. Since there was more room on the tape, I added the specific songs from the Raffi albums we have that I also included lyrics for in the SONG BOOK.

4) OTHER SONGS AND FINGERPLAYS -- I photocopied the complete file that I have on 225 songs and fingerplays -- there are some very very simple ones, easy to learn and involve various finger actions. They could be introduced in a more rhyming format by you or the ABA therapists, just to get him to LOOK at what you are doing (eg. counting hands making bee hives, with the fingers as bees that come out and buzz around). You could do one or two of these before launching into a song he needs to work on.

5) "WHERE IS THUMBKIN" book ISBN# 0-87659-164-0 CAD$14.95 GREAT for the MUSIC PROGRAM. It has Movement education, games with music, creative activities and sit-down work. Familiar & new song lyrics WITH great supplementary activities as applicable: 1. Divided into groups of Songs by MONTH of the year 2. Thematic connections 3. Art 4. Fine motor 5. Gross Motor 6. Language 7. Math 8. Dramatic play 9. Science 10. Social Studies 11. Outdoors 12. Related records and tapes 13. Related Bibliography

6) "500 FIVE MINUTE GAMES-QUICK AND EASY ACTIVITIES FOR 3-6 YEARS OLDS" ISBN# 0-87659-172-1 CAD$39.95 Good music stuff in here, along with MUCH more. FANTASTIC for social time (with 1 or more other kids); Great for any time, anywhere there is a few minutes to do SOMETHING; Easy to set up, easy to implement, by ANYONE, including babysitters or other younger/older people supervising your child. Subject: Re: Social Skills Programs -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Fri, 11 Feb 2000, Norman Lee wrote to the Me-List re: Social Skills Programs: Subject: Social Skills Programs

Any place where we can look for a meaningful example of a social skills program that can be implemented in a public school?

Norm: You don't mention your child's age, so I'm not sure that these references will address your child's specific needs. None of the three books I'm mentioning pertain to autism spectrum disorders, per se. But I found them very useful in my child's program and, more importantly for your purposes, designed for use in the school setting. So here goes:

1) SKILL-STREAMING IN EARLY CHILDHOOD: TEACHING PROSOCIAL SKILLS TO THE PRESCHOOL AND KINDERGARTEN CHILD. (McGinnis and Goldstein, 1990). We got a lot of use out of this book when my son was in preschool, both for direct instruction and for use in the classroom setting (for which it is designed). My sense is that it also could be used quite successfully with first graders, though I believe that the "Skill-Streaming" series may have specific volumes targeted at older age groups. Since this whole series is part of a very traditional and well-respected curriculum, it's easier to "sell" its use to a public school system. It's also VERY behaviorally based, without any specific reference to ABA, providing throughout good solid explanations of ABA teaching techniques like "reinforcement," generalization (which they call "transfer Training," etc.

2) TEACHING YOUR CHILD THE LANGUAGE OF SOCIAL SUCCESS (Duke, Nowicki, and Martin). I seem to have lent my copy of this book to someone, so I can't give you a lot of specific information about it. We used the book more towards the end of my child's treatment, at age five, for enhancing social skills. I also know various families, with somewhat older Asperger's type kids, who have found it to be a very useful resource. The book tries to increase the child's awareness, on both a receptive and expressive level, of good body language, listening skills, apppropriate facial expressions, etc. I recall that it has a whole chapter devoted to teaching many of these target skills in the general classroom. Indeed, this is not a "special education" book at all, but rather addressed to improving all children's social skills at the elementary school level. I really enjoyed working with the book.

3)SOCIAL SKILLS ACTIVITIES FOR SPECIAL CHILDREN (Darlene Mannix, 1993). This book also has all kinds of group activities designed for classroom use and is geared to the slightly older child - like first grade and above. My child enjoyed the "social story" type lessons, which are accompanied by lots of entertaining drawings which often illustrate "positive vs. negative" social behaviors. I know other families who have worked much more extensively with this book and found it really great.

Finally, if your child is ready for TEACH ME LANGUAGE (Freeman & Dake), nothing beats that book for building up good social language skills - fluency in which will greatly enhance any social skills program. Various of the games and exercises in that book (like "Finding Out About Someone," "Conversation Skills," the "WH question Game" etc.) readily lend themselves to small group activities within the classroom, or in pull-out sessions. With that book, though, I think that you need to have someone who is really experienced with ABA teaching leading the activities. Subject: Social Skills Curriculum -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You might want to check out the "Skillstreaming" series. I do not have any direct experience with it, but have heard good things. My son attended a private social skills program and one of its teachers was also a guidance counselor in a local elementary school. She used the Skillstreaming series with all of the kids, not just the PDD/autistic kids. See http://www.skillstreaming.com/ for a description.